December 30th, 2009 – 13 Years

13 Years…

13 Years…

Today marks 13 years since my brother, sister, and I were left motherless, my dad without a wife, my grandmother with one less daughter, my aunt and uncle without their little sister, and the world with one less good person.

In the past, I’ve had long things to say about this and I could spill my heart onto these pages but I grow older every year.  I grow older every year and it always seems different the next time.  It’s been 13 years and I’m 21 now though, so you do the math.  13 years and I’m still surprised there’s so much pain sometimes.  13 years and it still matters everyday.

I know I don’t talk about this a lot and maybe some people reading this now are just learning this about me and my family for the first time.  I can’t explain it though.  And even if I could explain it, I don’t think you’d understand.  That’s not a bad thing though.  Be happy that you can’t understand.  It means you haven’t had to deal with something that I often can’t believe is a reality and that it actually happened to my brother, sister and me.

As I grow older, I’ve come to realize more and more each year that it wasn’t just me that it happened to.  It wasn’t even just my family.  This sort of thing happens everyday unfortunately, and it just matters such.  Even if I’m not talking about it, it’s there.  It matters.  I’ll die never knowing the full extent of the impact.  We all will.

I don’t feel much like going very deep into this tonight.  This is something I may just save for another time or maybe I’ll never post it at all if I do end up writing more.  The message I want to send is simple: be thankful for everyone in your life and don’t take anyone for granted.  Even if it’s just for today, please do this for me.  Let someone know you appreciate them because you won’t always be able to.  Every life matters and everyone is someone important to someone else, even if they’re not that way for you.  I’m serious when I say that I want anyone who reads this to take some time to just forget any adversity you have with someone and just respect them as another living person that is equally deserving of love and respect and everything else as you are.  I don’t think this is too much to ask.

I know it may be hard for some people to imagine where I’m coming from and sadly for others not so much, but I just want something good to come out of this day that has historically been so difficult.  It doesn’t have to be your mother or a relative or anything, just somebody.  Anybody.  Please, I’m not asking a lot.  If you know me at all, care for me at all, or even just happened to wander on here, do this for me.  Actually don’t even do it for.  Do it for yourself or do it for someone else.  How about doing it for Diane Lucille Berry?

Thank you.  I love you all.